Then about halfway through the summer, one of my cats got sick and I spent a lot of time and energy focused on taking care of/worrying about him (thankfully, he is all better now.) This however started to get me feeling down in general. All I found myself doing was either working or sitting at home unoccupied. Since I worked in a hospital that had 12 hour shifts, I only worked 3 shifts a week (sometimes 4, if they needed extra help.) But most weeks, I had four days off. I would have dinners with John after he got out of work if I had the day off, and some days that I would be the only thing I really did. My brothers had a few baseball tournaments for a couple weeks this summer that kept them and my parents away so I was alone around my house a lot. During this time, I was lazy and didn't channel my energy into being productive and happy. Instead, I just let myself grow into this negative attitude that I just couldn't shake. I spent a lot of time feeling jealous that others were having a better summer than me and feeling guilty for not writing blog posts. I would read other blogs and scroll through Twitter and Instagram accounts and just be so jealous that I wasn't as funny/clever/photogenic/creative/outgoing as other people are.
As we got further and further into summer, I told myself that I would just take a hiatus from my blog and let myself recharge and give myself a break from feeling guilty for not writing. I spent a lot of time thinking about blogging and I wondered if I should even come back to it. Just recently I have been able to shake the bad attitude and pick myself up from this slump and realize that this writing this blog does make me a happier person and I know that I feel better if I channel more of my energy into making this blog something that I can be really proud of.
When I decided to continue, I told myself that I would start back here on this date because it is also the first day of the fall semester. Although I am sad to see the summer go, I am excited (and very ready!) for the new beginning that fall will bring. I read once that humans are actually happiest when they are busy, and as someone who has a tendency to be lazy, I need to work on making sure that I fill my time with plans and activities. Now don't get me totally wrong, I didn't stay inside my house all summer... I did see my friends, I had a few beach days and John and I had some really great dates. But I just felt like I could have done so much more. I should have been more ambitious and more of a go-getter. With this new season descending upon us quickly, I want to be on top of my game. I want to ace this final semester of college. I want to churn out some kick-ass content on this blog. Most of all, I just want to be happier and carry a more positive attitude with me!
If you have stuck through this post, THANK YOU. I know it was a little all over the place, and it probably makes more sense to me than it does to you. Thats okay, though. Just know that you have helped me immensely by just being there, and for that, I am incredibly thankful. I feel lighter and happier knowing that these words have left my head. So lets all raise our glasses and cheers to new beginnings and being happy!
Because you know my alter ego is Liz Lemon.
