I am officially a registered nurse! *heart beats out of chest when typing those words together* I cannot even begin to express how excited and relieved I am. I have spent so long working towards becoming a nurse and it is surreal that I get to put RN next to my name now. The past few weeks have been grueling with studying, and I had myself completely convinced that I was going to fail. I know that probably wasn't the best attitude to have, but I was just filled with stress and worry because all of my college studying and time had come down to one test.

Now I feel like I really graduated!

I took the test early Monday morning and I thought I would actually be relieved after taking it...but I was only more anxious while waiting for my results. Although every nurse I have ever talked to said that they left the test thinking they had failed (when they had really passed), I really didn't believe it. But on the drive home on Monday, I could not stop thinking "oh my gosh, I failed the biggest test of my life and now I am have to study all over again". From finishing the test Monday morning to early Tuesday morning was probably more stressful than all of my studying combined. People were congratulating me on getting the test over with and saying that I would never have to worry about studying again, but I refused to pack my books away until I saw my license number yesterday.

I guess what is most exciting about all of this is that I can finally start my "adult" job/career. For a while I had been feeling like I was in a holding/waiting pattern with my life. Like waiting to graduate college. Then waiting to pass the NCLEX. Now, I feel like the rest of my like can officially begin. I feel like I can actually take that step into adulthood and become a full-fledged contributing member of society, instead of just a college student with the goal of becoming a nurse. Now, I can just say "I am a nurse!" instead of blabbing on about majoring in nursing and actually working as one being a far-off dream. Graduating from JMU was exciting, but this completely blows that excitement out of the water, because now I am proven to be qualified to have the job that I have wanted for so long.

I don't have many friends or family that read this blog, but in case they ever do, I want to thank all of them for their support throughout all of my schooling. I know that my BFF will read this and smile because she will *hopefully* know that she is a major part of my college experience (I can't wait to send you my NCLEX practice books, Sarah!). I also want to thank all of you for supporting me (and Me as Meghan!) because this blog has given me the best outlet that I could have asked for but didn't know I needed until I started it. I cherished the time I spend writing and also reading blogs, because it always helped ease some of the stress of school. I can't wait to officially transition this blog from the view of a college girl to a post-grad one and I hope you are excited to follow along!

Dear 31 year old Meghan,

I hope you have great hair, and you are living someplace that doesn't have humidity so you never have to worry about it being poofy. I wish a lot of things for you, and I hope you don't mind that I started with the most superficial of my wishes (I know you pretty well, and I don't think you'll mind). I wonder if by now you will have gone back to school to get your master's in nursing and become a family nurse practitioner. You always planned on doing that! As far as nursing goes, I am really curious to know if you were able to find a job right after graduation (please let me know so I can stop worrying about it). I bet you were a kick-ass nurse and are an even better NP.

I bet you and John had a medium sized wedding at home in Maine. Maybe on the water? You must have spent the entire time dancing with John because thats one of your favorite things to do together. I wonder if you wore a dress that I pinned on Pinterest or if the style changed so you had something different. I'm sure you had someone do you hair, but refused to let someone else touch your makeup because you are too much of a control freak and know exactly how you want it done (I know you spent weeks practicing the wedding makeup look). I wonder if you bawled during the ceremony or if you were able to pull it together and not act like the cry baby that you are.
What if you have a kid right now? What if you have two or three? I know you love being a mother because you love children in general, so having your own will just put you over the moon. I bet before the first kid was born, you typed out a near manuscript comparing the research of parenting theories and analyzing which methods are best to use. Before the second kid was born, I am sure you threw that book out the window and just went with your gut. I hope you live five minutes away from your parents so their grandkids can see them all the time (but really so you can see them all the time).
Over everything I hope and dream for you, I ultimately just hope that you are happy and satisfied with our life and were able to cope with all the curveballs that life inevitably throws at us.

Love you the most,
21 year old Meghan

What would you say in a letter to yourself in 10 years?

P.S. Forgive me for not including any pictures in this post...I just think it fits the letter format better without them!

It's a good thing five year olds don't pick careers

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question that is asked to five year old's quite often, because usually the answers are a riot. If you were to rewind sixteen years ago to ask me that question, I would have told you that I would want to be a marine biologist...specifically one that studied dolphins. Could I have even spelled biologist at the time?? Nope, probably not. Why dolphins you ask? To be honest, to this day I have only ever seen wild dolphins once at the beach in South Carolina when I was 10. I think I wanted to be a marine biologist because I liked swimming and lived right by the ocean. Also, I told my mom that I was going to go to college at the school down the road and live with her forever...things have changed, I swear!

How I am picturing all of your faces to be right now...

I am now going to school in Virginia and studying nursing, which is definitely my dream job. I love the patient interaction and I have always found human body systems to be incredible (science nerd over here). I get asked all the time what kind of nurse I want to be after I graduate, and as of right now I am just focused on just being a good nurse! There are so many skills to master and so many things to see and I am just trying to do it all. 

A professor told us once that we don't actually pick what kind of nurse we want to be, and its actually decided long before we start nursing school. Our personalities really dictate where we end up in nursing. I think fast and like to stay moving, so I am guessing that the emergency room or labor and delivery would be a good fit for me. But who knows! I would just be happy to end up on a unit that really makes a difference in someone's life and a unit that provides me with great training so I can have confidence in myself. Alright, enough with the sap, I hear ya. Let's just be glad that its not reversed and I would want to be a marine biologist now because seaweed kind of freaks me out...

When seaweed touches my foot in the ocean

What did you want to be when you were five vs now?